The Jackson 5 sang a catchy little tune about learning and love. It was upbeat, happy and talked of easy love. An ABC relationship is just the opposite of the love that the Jackson 5 sang about. An ABC relationship is some mind boggling fucked up shit and I am sure that many of you know someone who is in one, or maybe you are in an ABC relationship.
So what the hell is an ABC relationship? It’s a perfect analogy that I’ve concocted in my awesome little brain to describe what I see many people putting themselves through. Sit back, use your imagination and picture this…
Already Been Chewed gum. Yep, gum.
Bubble Yum, Zebra Stripes, Big Chew, Bazooka, Juicy Fruit, Red Hot Gum.
How the hell does this fit together? Imagine popping a fresh piece of gum into your mouth. It is full of flavor; your taste buds light up and your mouth waters as you begin chomping away at this sweet firm stick of gum. After a while, the gum looses it flavor and it looses its texture. Now your chewing a bland piece of rubber. Sometimes you readily spit the gum out and think nothing of it. Yet other times you keep on chewing that same piece of flavorless gum. But have you ever spit that gum out onto the sidewalk only to return to find it weeks later? Scraping it off the ground to put it back into your mouth? Hoping that maybe the gum has changed? Gone back to when you first experienced its flavor and firmness weeks or months ago?
Hell to the fuck no you don’t! Or do you? That is exactly what is happening with people who are in an on and off relationship. They date, they are soooo “in love”, they break up. They delete each other from social media, they talk mad smack about each other and a few weeks go by…next thing you know, these fools are back in love.
What in the ever loving fuck? How can this be healthy? Why would you do this repeatedly to yourself? Being alone and being single is way healthier than putting yourself through the emotional roller coaster of an ABC relationship. Begin alone doesn’t mean that you are lonely. It isn’t a bad thing to be comfortable with yourself, to learn to be happy without having someone always there. It is healthier than repeating bullshit with someone because you are codependent and afraid to be alone.
Here is an idea. Stop chewing gum you already spit out! That shit is not going to change. It is not going to have the same flavor, the same texture that it did when you first popped it into your watery mouth. Now that gum is old news. It has lost its appeal.
Instead, learn to go without gum for a little bit. Learn to love yourself. Learn to hang out alone or with friends. Learn to do this so that you don’t continue to repeat bullshit patterns and will hopefully have a healthier relationship with a gum whose flavor is everlasting. Is it easy? Probably not.
Obviously this is just my opinion. My opinion as a single girl who has never personally been in an ABC relationship but has witnessed plenty of friends repeat this bullshit. It is mind boggling and so confusing especially if their are kids involved. Think about the example that you’re setting for your children. Stop the nonsense. Your gum looses its flavor, get rid of it and keep on walking. Oh and don’t text your friends asking for advice. It is annoying to listen to your same lame ass drama every few weeks. Mmmmmk, thanks.