Urban Dictionary gives a few descriptions for a “cougar” but I feel the one that best describes me states that a cougar is “a real hottie – as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.”
Enter the Trojan, who was 9 years younger than I. I am calling him Trojan not due to any back door hacking but because this dude talked about his dick more than a condom commercial. I met Trojan at an Adult Trivia night where I had shown up with my date, Yolanda, a very flirtatious blond blow-up doll. I was in rare form on this particular night and was buzzing off some diet coke. I know some say this shit is bad for you but lets face it…we are all going to die so if I can’t enjoy a diet coke when I am out with Yolanda then what is the point of life?
Trojan rolls in with some acquaintances of mine, taking a seat next to Yolanda and myself. I am sure this dude is not exactly sure what he got himself into as he keeps looking at me whilst I dance around giving ridiculous answers to questions about porn stars, sex positions and other adult related questions. Of which I am clearly clueless and horrible at considering I maybe got 2 correct the whole night!
At some point Trojan asks for my number and to add me on SnapChat. I hand the dude my phone because I literally just learned how to use the Snap and have not a fucking clue of how to add someone. The night ends and we all part ways….
The next morning I am laying poolside when I get a notification on SnapChat from Trojan. As we chat back and forth, I cant help but laugh with my girlfriend that this dude has no clue how old I am. Eventually I suggest that I am older and give him a chance to guess…yep, he guesses 7 years younger than I actually am! SCORE 🙂
Rewind and fast forward…we meet on a Friday, we chat most of Saturday and Sunday, we have dinner together on Monday…this dude is definitely not “boyfriend” material but that is not what I am looking for anyway. I figure a fun, younger summer fling that will be good for some laughs and some orgasms. We meet up again on Thursday for dinner and a few drinks. This time at his house…
I am sure there must be some set of rules for this sort of thing – like 5 dates before you fuck or no sex until marriage or whatever it is that people want to make for themselves. Truth is, I need to orgasm and he was packing a large and thick eggplant. So I fucked him…twice…
It wasn’t awkward sex, there was no starfishing on anyone’s part. We clicked, it flowed and our hips moved together in sync. I orgasmed three time that night. All in all, I have no complaints in the fucking department.
Now remember why this guy was donned the name “Trojan” because there will be more on that classy habit later.
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